Paras360.com Blog

Ok, long story short. I’ve never really had a purpose to use this website, but I do have a cool email address (paras AT paras360.com), so, there you go. People for years have been telling me to start a food blog. This is not going to be that food blog. Some BR Foodies were discussing this list so I decided to make a post about my feelings. Below, you’ll find the right answers to Baton Rouge’s finest restaurants. Email or tweet me (@paras360) if you disagree. You’re most likely wrong. Also – keep in mind I’m a vegetarian. Yes, Baton Rouge, wrap you’re head around that before reading below. I’m a vegetarian.

Regardless, the following post is a quick evaluation of 225′s version of what they claim to be the best. I didn’t create my own categories or anything (I’m just evaluating 225 magazine), but I will have a quality guide to vegetarian eating in BR pretty soon. Maybe. Maybe not. Who cares. Read below. In parenthesis is 225′s version. Immediately following is mine.

Best Boiled Crawfish (Tony’s Seafood Market and Deli) – I said I’m a vegetarian. Not pescatarian. The right answer – I DON’T KNOW.

Best Brunch (The Chimes) – Legendary restaurants with ridiculously prime locations do not equal good food. Unless you like eating overly thick pancakes, bottled syrup, and some orange juice out of a bottle, The Chimes is pretty average. Atmosphere, sure, it’s cool. But The Chimes is not. The right answer? Bistro Byronz. That’s fresh syrup, everything made from scratch, and an actually cool atmosphere.  Eating here is so much more fresh and rewarding than The Chimes. The chef here knows what he’s doing. Go to brunch here and you’ll change your mind. The best thing on the menu? Pain Perdu. Two orange slices, underneath two pieces of french toast that are not beat down in powdered sugar, and a syrup that’s almost jam-like in texture and compliments the food really nicely. Nice try Advocate, but you’re wrong. Bistro Byronz is the best brunch in town.

Best Burgers (Five Guys) – When I read this today in the 225 I stopped and immediately lost respect for 225. Does BR have the culinary scene of my hometown, Austin? Surely not. Does BR have potential and a population to suffice that potential – sure. HOW CAN THE BEST BURGERS IN A TOWN OF 800,000 PEOPLE PRODUCE A CHAIN THAT A LEFTY (PHIL MICKELSON) OWNS, BE THE BEST BURGERS IN TOWN? I’m not qualified to speak on this, but 225 is wrong. Simply wrong. I don’t know what the best burgers are in town, but if I were a carnivore I would NOT be happy that the best burgers in town were at a place that churns out nearly a thousand a day. 225, wrong again.

Best Cajun/Creole (Louisiana Lagniappe) – Not qualified to speak on this, yet again.

Best deli (Maxwell’s Market) – 225 didn’t totally miss on this one, Maxwell’s is pretty good. For a veg, there is an ample selection of breads, veggies, and cheeses to chose from here – so contrary to most places in BR, there is plenty for a vegetarian to eat here. I can’t say I thoroughly enjoy this selection, but it’s not all that bad. Overall, I’d say Maxwell’s is a fair fit for “best deli.” (Even though Anthony’s Deli isn’t all that much of a deli, it’s by far the best veggie sandwich in BR).

Best Exotic Pizza (Fleur De Lis)- The good thing about Fluer De Lis is that they are so old school they don’t take credit cards. The bad thing is, they don’t take credit cards. Fees eat up their profits so it’s cash only. It’s also cheap. And in a pretty cool part of town. Oh, but back to the pizza. Excotic? Maybe for the carnivore. But their veggie pizza is a pretty basic assortment of what’s good on a veggie pizza – banana peppers, bell peppers, jalapeños, some random cheeses, etc. I wouldn’t say it’s super exotic, but it is the best pizza in BR. Sorry, Johnny’s fans. 225 got it right

Best food truck (Taco de Paco) – Ha. Has 225 ever eaten out of a food truck? Basically, 225 says that a store bought pretty awful tortilla, awful/decent ingredients, and STORE BOUGHT SALSA makes the best food truck. Guys, this is Louisiana, no one has yet made good Mexican food. Taco de Paco is certainly not the answer, either. I could sit here and argue the merits and economics of food trucks in a town of little to no foot traffic, but that’s for another day. These guys don’t do it right here. OK! Next point of discussion, what is the best food truck in BR? Easy. Go YaYa’s Crepes. Kevin Black is the chef here and he knows how to cook vegetarian goodness. Spinach caprese? It’s money. All of the desert crepes (nutella and bananas!) – and some fresh fruit with sugar. They’re money. If I wanted store bought tortillas and salsa, I’d go to the grocery store. If I wanted the straight up best food truck with an actually creative idea, I’d go to Go YaYa’s Crepes.

Best frozen treats (Cold Stone) - WOW. SHUT UP. 225 you suck. This is a chain ice cream store with a gazillion locations. This might be the most useless publication ever. Try Latte E Miele gelato. I’m not even going to elaborate. I’ve been to Italy countless times and this is as close as it gets to the real thing. Just go eat here. It’s fresh, it’s good, it’s got AWESOME atmosphere (and good water, too. just trust me on this). It’s also frozen, which means it’s better than Cold Crap.

Best Gourmet Restaurant (Juban’s) - Can’t argue on high quality restaurants because the preeminent dishes here are typically meat. People tell me Juban’s is good. It must be. I vote Juban’s.

Best Healthy Restaurant (Whole Foods)- I’m from Austin. Whole Foods HQ is on 6th and Lamar in Austin. It’s definitely the best healthy grocery. It’s not the best healthy restaurant. It can’t be – there’s 800,000 people in this town. Surely someone has a healthier place to eat. Oh, right, there is. Cafe du Jour. Healthy soups, salads, etc. I personally prefer their sandwich with feta cheese, olives, sundried tomatoes, bell peppers, oil/vinegar, on some freshly baked pressed bread. They have KILLER soups, too. But it’s 105 degrees out right now. So..I won’t elaborate. Yet again, 225 is wrong. Cafe du Jour

Best Hummus (Albasha) – surprisingly, 225 got this one right. It’s good. I was satisfied.

Best Red Sauce (Monjuni’s) – Hm. Interesting. I can’t believe this is a category. I refuse to discuss this. I’m not a tool.

Best king cakes (Ambrosia) – I need to watch my figure. I don’t eat king cake

Best late nighing (Louie’s) – This is the place for you if you like grease. I do not. It’s not even good food. The BR late night scene sucks. I just go to bed hungry, it’s not worth eating here.

Best shrimp po-boy (Acme Oyster House) – Um. I’m not pescatarian.

Best south Asian Cuisine (Thai Kitchen) – I’m Indian. My parents were born in Mumbai. 225, you are honestly PATHETIC. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MAP? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MAP? THAILAND IS NOT IN SOUTH ASIA YOU IDIOT. I go to Bay Leaf for south Asian Cuisine. It’s Indian food. It’s expensive and not as good as my mom’s cooking but it does when I want Indian food. How authentic is it? Well, the buffet is toughly regulated and after a couple of plates if the owner sees you downing a lot of food, he’ll tell you you’re not allowed to eat anymore. He’s stingy. He’s Indian. You get the full authentic Indian experience here. The food is medicore, and they can’t cook the Punjabi dishes if their lives depended on it (too much salt, not enough paneer, and way too oily). But, it’s expensive. Which allows you to experience Indian culture at it’s finest. They even have typical Bollywood music playing over the p.a. system.

Best Sushi (Ichiban) – I don’t eat sushi because it has fish. But the best avocado roll in town belongs to Tsunami. It’s just a fresh avocado and some quality sticky rice. Not really qualified to discuss this topic, either.

Best Sweet Guilty Pleasure (Ambrosia) - I know opinions can’t be wrong. But 225′s opinions are. How is a cupcake place not up in this list? Sweet Wishes – If I wanted a dry, small cupcake with unoriginal flavors – I’d go here. So, basically, I wouldn’t go here. Cupcakes N’ Cream – meh. Same as above. If I wanted the best cupcakes outside of Sprinkles, Sugar Momma’s, Sticky Fingers, etc. – I take Cupcake Couture. They are moist (baking in Louisiana humidity really dries out a cupcake fast!) and actually have an array of flavors to chose from. 225 missed AGAIN with this pick. Cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes. When I want a small snack and my sweet tooth needs attention, I go to cupcakes. That’s a sweet guilty pleasure. Cupcake Couture

Best New Restaurant (Five Guys) – WOW. 225, again. Really? Frankie’s Dawgs opened up and you pick Five Guys. The price point can’t even be discussed here because it’s the exact same. BR needs a gourmet dawg place, and Frankie’s filled that void. Are they fantastic? No. But are they good? Yes. By the way, you’re wondering what I eat here – VEGETARIAN PARADISE. They have smart dogs, but most importantly, have a plethora of vegetarian toppings. Here’s what to get if you stop by – Frankies Sauce, BBQ sauce, banana peppers, and jalapeños. They tend to make the dogs pretty sloppy, but if you limit your toppings you can get a pretty desirable dog.

Overall, the BR culinary scene isn’t as bad as most think. Most just stick around LSU area (especially if you attend, like me) and never venture out. Which brings me back on my initial thought…anyone notice that the Izzo’s Illegal Burrito menu is IDENTICAL (sans burrito names) to Freebird’s Burrito’s? Whole wheat, cayenne, spinach, and flour. And three sizes. And all the same toppings. This is the difference in culinary magic. Izzo’s sucks. Freebirds does not.

I don’t care about my grammar, you get my point. 225 needs a world geography lesson.